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THE LIFE AQUATIC BIRTHDAY CROSSOVER REVIEW
October 17th, 2013
Volts48’s Stepford Wives Cult Corner Review
Volt’s Studio (A mancave)
Dim432: NO! youre wrong! The remake IS better because the actors are better and the remake is the only thing I like!
Alec: Dim, haven't you learned anything since you joined Critics-Society? It doesn't matter what I say, it doesn't matter what any of us say! Our jobs are not to force people to agree with our opinions, it's just to tell them what we think so they can make their own decision whether to spend money on this movie or go do something more meaningful with their time…
Dim432: (is quiet for a moment before he pulls out a fire poker) No! I refuse to believe that!
Alec: AGH! wait, where did you get that?
Dim432: I duno, I found it in the corner of this mancave.
Dim432: whatever. (he attacks Alec, who promptly lands a punch to Dim's face as Dim steps back covering his face) What have you done?!?
Alec: (is in true shock) My God…Dim432 is a robot!
IowaIf you visit Iowa,
you'll call her fields empty,
but she wasn't born that way.
A part of her was carved out
when she was ripped between Virginia
and the purple mountains of New Mexico.
Her gold hair, she tore it out when she realized
it didn't make her a princess.
She laid her locks strung along every road
leading somewhere else.
White hairs on her cheeks
are scars from winter.
Her hair darkens with the dampness
of summer rains.
The storms are never silent,
but neither is life when there's a tear
in your childhood where
a parent ought to be.
I've been flooded by Iowa's sorrow.
The only way I can distract her from her own voided landscape
is if I hate myself harder than she cries.
She just wants to fly
and I want to bus or train,
not because I fear death, but because
I want to take living slow.
It's the only way I ever feel.
From the air it's hard to watch Earth's hips move.
But Earth can't compare to the country.
That's my girl.
Full grown even when harvesting season's j
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